UPDATE! Who's surprised?

Back in August I mentioned a student who had outed himself as someone who might not be one to put much effort into the class. I'm not saying that I pulled a Nostradamus here, but I'd just like to say that my prediction was correct. He received a 'D' in the class. Vegas would not have been giving odds on that one.

The end of the semester is always fruitful

Student sends me this e-mail over the weekend:

"I was wondering if you could tell me what grades I received on the paper and journal article review."

Um, the student didn't turn in either of these assignments. I just really wonder what's going through her head before/during/after sending that e-mail. Did she honestly forget that she didn't turn those in? Or is she really thinking that sending that e-mail will imply that she turned in the assignments and it's my error that I don't have them in my possession? Given that she was absent on the day the latter assignment was due, I'm not sure her trickery would get very far with me.

That's easy!

I just got back to my office and I had a message from a student. The student was telling me that she wouldn't be in class later this afternoon and asked if I could send her an e-mail "with any important information that we cover in class."

Just what exactly would be the content of that e-mail?

More pre-semester e-mail.

I just received another e-mail from a student:

"I will be in your class this fall.? If you could, I wouldlike to find out the ISBN of the book I need to purchase.? Thank you so much."

Once again, don't you love how they assume I can read their minds about which class they'll be taking... as if I only teach one class or I readily know the names of the students in each class three weeks before any of my classes have met.

What I also like about this e-mail is the request for me to do her work. GO TO THE BOOKSTORE. (And that's essentially what I told her.)

When did a little sexual abuse ever hurt?

Here's a excerpt from a student's paper on pornography:

"Most of the women who pose obviously enjoy it or there wouldn't be so many women doing it. I think the article said something about women in pornography being victims of child sexual abuse and quoted like 65-75 percent of the women being abused as children. So what?"

Although this was from a few years ago, something tells me that I didn't give this student a very good grade on this paper.

What does it mean to pay attention?

I know I'm going to sound way older than I actually am, but this text-messaging business is the current bane of my teaching existence. The 2007-08 academic year, for the first time, saw me add an automatic point deduction policy to my syllabus for students who are caught text-messaging in class. This will not be the first (or best) text-messaging story. I had already sent a warning e-mail to this student about seeing her texting in class. Two weeks later, I saw the long looks into her lap all throughout class. (Yeah, yeah, we've all made the jokes about other things students could be doing with their hands in their laps.) I saw the cell phone in her lap as class ended. I went back to my office and sent her the penalty e-mail. A few hours later, I received an e-mail from the student insisting that she wasn't text-messaging and that she "pay[s] attention and take[s] notes throughout class." (She also added a less-than-advised, "I wish you would have noticed that instead of my phone" to the end of the message.) I replied with a request that she come talk to me in my office. When she came to my office, I told her that I would take her at her word that she was not texting in class and that she had taken my warning e-mail seriously. However, I told her I took issue with her saying that she pays attention and takes notes throughout class given that I also saw her with her head down and eyes closed on the day in question.

She said that she was unlikely in REM sleep and that she was probably mentally taking notes.